Laa Tahzan... Don't Worry, Be Happy !!!

We were born to be optimistic, but studies show that we’re an increasingly pessimistic society. These same studies show that many people are almost conducted as pessimistic and. This pessimism can be the result of our backgrounds in relationships or in other areas of life. More often, however, pessimism has deep roots, taking shape early in our life.Fortunately, we understand the roots of this pessimism much better than we did even a few years ago. And, we now know how to turn a gloomy and defeatist our selves into an enthusiastic and confident one.Unfortunately, much of this research hasn’t filtered down to our leaders, who often lack the tools to help our troubled and pessimistic society. Yet, studies show that there are five steps that we can take to help them having more upbeat view of life.

1. Teach Optimism.A big idea that has emerged recently is that optimism, the good news is that optimism can be re-embraced at any stage of life. Even someone with a deeply ingrained sense of pessimism can learn optimism by being surrounded by people who don’t share his or her gloomy outlook on life.

Tip for teaching optimism: Encourage him or her to talk about it and show your love and support whatever the problem. Avoid blame and un-requested advice.

2. Model Good Relationships.Humans, are relationship-forming creatures. We thrive when our relationships are good, and we tend to experience pessimism and depression (and even physical illness) when our relationships turn sour. Personal relationships aren’t the only things that matter. As young kids, we gain an optimistic attitude when the relationships between our parents or caregivers are loving and supportive. Similarly, we learn and develop optimism or pessimism largely by the way those adults around us relate to each other and to us. Pessimism often originates from a parent or caregiver who doesn’t demonstrate love, or who doesn’t support kids or other adults. But, again, recent research has shown the potential good news. If caregivers improve their relationship with one another, then the people (no matter what age) also experience improved relationships and become more optimistic.

Tip: Examine the state of your personal relationships. How can they be improved?

3. Take Charge of the Media.Heads of marketing departments in major corporations and creators of their advertisements have said that nothing sells like pessimism. Research has shown that the younger the audience members, the more receptive they are to these essentially downbeat messages. Even 1 year olds can be influenced by TV ads! Media-savvy teens, however, are more likely to be able to withstand this onslaught and remain optimistic.
Research has also shown that violent films, songs and computer games engender pessimism and depression. Yet less than 5 percent of families in Indonesia have any rules as to what their members watch or what video games they play. Again, there is good news: Uplifting TV shows, Web sites and movies actually engender optimism in people. But there’s a catch. It’s no good if a caregiver suggest watching less violent shows if they addicted to gory programming. Walk the talk, caregivers!

Tip: Talk to your adolescents, explaining how advertisers seek to persuade them. Monitor what games come into the house or are downloaded from the Web. Have firm rules as to what shows the family may watch.

4. Create a Firm Set of Family Valuesone of the most interesting pieces of information to emerge from recent studies is the connection between a strong grasp of family values and people’s optimism. These values can be secular or religious. People from families who have a strong value system are also less likely to take drugs or alcohol, smoke or indulge in risky or premature sex. The importance of values has been declining in the nation (despite the growth in religious beliefs). Many researchers point to this as a main reason for the exponential rise in people pessimism, depression and even suicide.However, it’s never too late to install values. Sit down and have a values “pow-wow” with your family (or with your kids). Decide what your core values are, and work out practical steps to promote the values with each other and within the community.

Tip: The earlier you begin the values process, the more optimistic your people/family will be.

5. Instill a Culture of Praise.The simplest thing you can do to engender optimism in your family or society is to praise them! The tragedy is that so few caregivers do give praise.There are three kinds of praise, and each is important if you want to have an optimistic and resilient family or society

•“What” praise: praise for doing something well, such as passing the exam, winning the competition, overcoming the obstacle.

•“How” praise: praise for the way someone does things. Praise your friend for the effort he contributes (even if he doesn’t succeed). Praise the way he went about things or his ingenuity.

•“Who” praise: Praise your friends, people for just being who they are. For example “I really like having you around!” or “You’re such a fun friend!”We all need praise, which are going through one of the most difficult transitions of their lives, need it more than most. The good thing about praise— unlike the other steps to getting a teen from pessimism to optimism— is that it’s easy to do and the results can be spectacular.
Tip: Begin a culture of praise that includes the whole family.